MARCH MADNESS: Edward Elric vs Azula

Azula versus Edward Elric

Ink: I feel really about about Ed losing this fight. But he totally would.

Words: The difference isn't skill. It's ruthlessness.

Words: Ed has a definite aversion to killing.

Words: Whereas Azula lives and breathes ruthlessness.

Words: The second Ed gets her trapped, she defaults to Blowing Crap Up.

Ink: And let's not forget--Azula likes lightening. And metal is a conductor.

(Not to mention, Winry would kill him for getting his wiring screwed up.)

Ink: Ouch.

Words: Double ouch.

Ink: Double ouch indeed.

Words: Ed wouldn't know what had hit him.

Ink: Although I'm sure that sparring with Roy would have prepared him for fighting in the midst of fire, which I'm sure a lot of real badasses wouldn't be prepared for.

Words: Hmm, fair point.

Words: But not lightning.

Ink: Definitely not.

Words: Azula could hit him anywhere on the body and it would bounce at least twice before finally leaving.

Words: And Azula's known for NASTY exit wounds.

Words: And entry wounds.

Words: And...wounds.

Ink: Azula's just known for bringing the pain.

Ink: In any way possible.

Words: The only chance Ed would have is if Azula called him "short."

Words: But even then, she's used to beating the pants off Zuko, who I'm sure she's driven to homicidal rage.

Words: Ed would beat her up because she would TOTALLY insult him.

Ink: Azula is good at driving people into homicidal rage, I'm sure she can handle it.

Words: It is, after all, one of her greatest talents.

Ink: Alchemy probably wouldn't even faze her--she's dealt with Earthbenders.

Words: Even if she didn't one-shot him, Ed would start trying to analyze her lightning attack, and that would be it.

Words: Azula's got this one in the bag.

Ink: Azula has this one wrapped up.

Ink: Sorry, Ed.

Ink: we still love you.

Words: We do!

Words: Even if you're...

Words: ..

Words: ..

Ink: don't say it!

Words: -short-.

Words ducks and covers.

Ink: you'd better run.